Confession to the God of Fragrance

Not long ago, I have disappointed a lot of perfume addict out there. So here’s my confession if perfume was a church and there is somehow a priest figure for me to wash away my sin. I have convicted a crime of blind buying a male’s cologne. *shrieks*

It’s essential that the readers know how much of a perfume addict I am first of all. I have been using cologne since I was in seventh grade. While other kids spend more time on reciting Street Fighters cheat codes, I would be rummaging my grand-dad’s closet for any perfume gifts he would receive from his posse. I remember using Ralph Lauren Safari in ninth grade and by the time I go to college, I can actually spell “Jean Paul Gautier”. In my early twenties, I have mastered the art of smelling people and guessing the right perfume. 60% of the time, I’d be correct. In my mid-twenty, I worked as a marketing promoter for a cosmetic label called Coty Australia, a company that branches out labels like Cool Water, Joop!, Marc Jacobs, Kenneth Cole, Vera Wang, CK and some other labels.

My interview did not really go well but I was given the job. I was asked to sniff a scent and describe it and I ended up saying ‘cute’. I remember my boss back then, who taught me to NEVER EVER use that word for a fragrance. Under her supervision, I have matured to owning the perfume terminology and before you know it, I started talking in notes and the Indonesian grass, Patchuli, was one of the frequent words that would come out of my mouth. It was actually pretty much interesting to know the level of notes in a perfume and the ingredients. I mean, did you know one of the notes in Michael Jordan’s cologne was leather? Hilary Duff uses mangosteen and Kylie Minogue’s first fragrance had lychee?

Hearing my friend was coming back from Australia, I got excited that she was coming because she’s one of those friends I could comfortably hang out with and be myself around. Then, I had an imaginary lightbulb moment where I thought of asking her to buy a cologne for me. Myanmar is a weird place to shop for colognes. The fragrance shops here do not have a large variety of brands and they are not really in tune with expiry dates. (Yes, colognes have expiry dates) So, I do not really like shopping for colognes in Myanmar. So, I thought of asking her to get me “Chrome”, one of those colognes I used to use before when I was in Australia.

She emailed me from the shop (I think) about how she found Chrome. I was happy.. until she said “Which one do you want? Chrome, Chrome Sport or Chrome Legend?” Urgghhhh!!! To be fair, I crossed out Chrome Sport because whenever brands try to make Sports version of a perfume, they all end up smelling like Hugo Boss. I hate variations. And I hate it when I get influenced by the curiosity that builds inside of me once I get to hear about new stuffs. It’s like “would you like your boyfriend or a new and improved twin brother of his?” Sadly, I would get totally interested in this so called twin brother.

If my boss from Coty ever reads this blog, I’d like to give a big thank you hug. If it was not for the knowledge I have gained from you, I would’ve never known how to think of what to purchase. As I sat there that day, googling for the ingredients of Chrome Legend. First note, second note and third note. Then, I started reading forums about what the users have to say and the perfume those users like to use. The next minute or two, I spent the entire 5 minutes trying to smell what musk smelled like, which actually is just me sniffing my arm every 2 seconds, knowing the cologne I had on that day had that ingredient.

So yes, I blind bought Chrome Legend but I’m sure the effort I’ve made trying to get to know a fragrance through research should pay off. Will it pay off? I’ll let you know!

Listening to : The Chemical Brothers – Star guitar

Wine review

Two days ago, I was invited to this wine tasting gala. I’ve always found it quite absurdly amusing to such type of event. I mean, it reminds me of a paid school trip to the museum, with the only difference it being wine bottles in different shapes of wine glasses instead of dinosaur bones. Being such a virgin for such event despite my chic classiness, I find it more than necessary to blog about the wine I’ve tasted.

Tosti, Prosecco Extra-dry DOC
Sadly, I didn’t get to taste this wine since I was still considering if I should touch alcohol or not. By the time I have finally decided to actually start tasting wine, this little motherfucker of an insect has invested itself in some ‘self drowning’ suicide in the abyss of Tosti wine. Yes, a bug fell into my wine glass and it was too late to suck on the wine.

Masselina, 147 s.l.m. Chardonnay IGT
When it comes to white wine, I love moscato. Call me gay or a sweet-toothed Tinkerbell, but if there’s any white wine that I would indulge myself in, it would be the dessert wine, Moscato. So, it’s just personal how I find this white wine quite razor sharp dry for my tongue. It felt a bit like drinking sand to be honest but I’m pretty sure this would be one of those wine that rich people would love to sip on, followed by anything that has a French word insert.

Antinori, Santa Cristina Toscana IGT
Now, this is when the wine starts talking. Not only do I master the art in tying cherry stem into knots with my tongue but I LOVEEEEEEE the taste of cherries. Given this wine flavors cherries and raspberries, this wine was berry berry (excuse my pun) rich in flavor which make me think of purple velvet cloth in my mouth (do not ask why). It has this after taste of sweetness right after the actual taste of wine melts in my tongue and this was some type of wine I would jump straight to make out with in case he’s had this before he places his tongue in my mouth. It also mentions how this goes well with white meat. Not that I’m racist but I do not mind having a white ‘meat’ in my mouth while I suck on this wine off this white ‘meat’. (I know, one track mind.. sex sex sex)

Antinori, Peppoli Chianti Classico DOCG
When I was a kid, I used to love scavenging any box of assorted chocolate for any chocolate with alcohol in it. Then, I would pretend as if I was one of those cool kids who just had a bit of alcohol despite the age limit. Drinking this wine made me feel nostalgic of those times when I used to do that. With hints of chocolate and vanilla, this red wine teases me. The first impression of this wine was ‘Oh great, it’s a good red wine’ but after a few seconds I could actually sense the scent of chocolate, followed by vanilla, but the chocolate being stronger. The Belgians disappointed me with their Chocolate flavored beer but this one from some European place that starts with the letter “T” made me appreciate the combination of chocolate with alcohol. I wonder what the inventor of this wine was high from when he made this. Possibly chocolate?

Tasca D’Almerita, Cygnus Sicilia IGT
If this wine was a guy, it would be an exotic tanned guy with dark colored hair with blue eyes. This wine makes me think of some weird dude putting whatever he sees in his wine laboratory and with a tinge of luck, it just mashes up to an amazing result. Red berries, mulberry, sour cherry, vanilla, eucalyptus leaves and COFFEE POWDER?? I swear to God he must’ve spilled that ingredient. I love it!! It has such a unique taste which I cannot really find the right word to describe it with. Like I said, a blue eyes exotic hot guy would be sufficient enough to describe this.

Romandiola, Il Pavone d’Oro Albana di Romagna DOCG
I was a bit confused when they actually started serving some yellow liquid in a giant shot glass along with dessert. The dessert consists of a cream crust and cookies. So, the yellow liquid in the shot glass WAS supposed to be the wine!! Like a fresh off the boat village-man entering a city, I was just about to have a sip attack at the shot glass when my friend stopped me. I found it hilarious when she said “While it’s hard, you have to dip it until it gets soft and then you suck it” So she meant the cookie but my mind was wandering to dark alleys of a porno flick. I felt like a fluffer actually. As advised, I made sure I sucked the ‘cookie’ only after it got soft from dipping. Well, unfortunately, I broke it in half. Guys, watch out!

Despite my classy preference for class as a choice of lifestyle, I do admit I am not the one of those people who sniffs wine and I do not really think I do have that much of a pointy nose that goes so well with it and I was shaking my wine glass only because it looks so cute when the whole table has people in it shaking their wine glasses with such synchronicity that resembles a dance move of a boyband. Still, I do have my opinions and I hope they’re good enough for a blogger who had just popped his cherry for attending wine tasting events.

Listening to : The Cataracs – Top of the world

Peace-maker

After a month and a few weeks, I began to know what I have got myself in for the current I’m working at. Yes, the title sounds awesome and it’s my first time to ever use the word ‘manager’ after the mention of my name and it’s amazing to be able to be one of those people who can report directly to the big boss. However, I’ve begun to understand why being a manager can be such a pain in the ass at times.

According to my current job, the definition of a manager is all about peace-making. I feel like I’m the spokesperson of two corners in a wrestling match, after sucker punching the referee since the last thing we want is the two contestants from each corner to start giving each other smackdowns.

So, on one corner is a Chinese descendant I work with. Being a co-worker, I am automatically programmed to side him by default but it took me a while to get used to his normal frown. You know how some (or most) Chinese eyebrows twitch to an angle towards the nose even on their happiest day or even whilst they sleep? He has those Chinese eyebrows which make me think he’s pissed off with me on a 24 hour basis. To cherry top such attribute, he has this habit of mumbling words and whingeing before he presents the problem. It’s like ‘I have my fingers bleeding from the papercut’ and before you could say ‘use a god damn band aid’, he would say something like ‘why does it have to be band aid?’ *le sigh*

On the other corner, we have a 45 year old virgin. The last time I was at a meeting between my Chinese co-worker and her, the meeting ended up with her talking non-stop while looking anywhere but our faces. So, I thought it was because she hated my co-worker so much she would not face him nor me. However, as I was listening to her talk non stop during our meeting today (without my Chinese co-worker), she was doing the same thing. She would look ANYWHERE but me or my colleagues who came along. Speaking of non stop talking, this woman can talk. She sounded like one of those contestants in “Myanmar school first grade essay recitals contest”. If only her words were lyrics to a song, she would’ve been much more successful than Celine Dion and her metal lungs. I really do not know how this 45 year old virgin breathes or was I too indulged in what she said that made me miss out those moments where she takes breath?

As mentioned above, my job is to make peace between these two. In my opinion, peace-making is not that simple, nor hard. The only challenge would be the fact that I would have to go through the assumption that my co-worker is mad (thanks to his natural frown) and the non-stop conversation with a ‘frustrated??’ virgin.

Listening to : Mindless Behavior – Girls talkin’ bout

Sunshine through my window, that’s what you are

When Amore gets excited, she really gets excited. Well known for her ultimate expressive explosion of her inner feelings, you could tell how excited she is in one single second. “You have to meet my friend, Sunshine”

When I first heard about Sunshine, I was excited naturally at the fact that he was gay. You cannot blame me. No matter how I might not be desperate for a guy, sex or a boyfriend, I do have the reaction of an alarm clock while the mention of the word ‘gay’ represents the second hand that has reached the destined time.

The second reaction I felt naturally, if I have to be honest, was competition. Given this gay boy has had such an influence on Amore in such a short period of time, I felt a mixed feeling of small jealousy with a tinge of competition. That feeling was short-lived and it was kinda defeated by my curiosity and excitement of actually meeting another gay guy Amore loves.

I met him not long ago but I did not get to talk with him much. As it turned out, I went to Amore’s grand dinner event tonight with Sunshine and we were seated together. The whole evening spent with Sunshine was so refreshing.

Ok, just because he was not my type does not mean he’s not beautiful. In fact, he’s got the most distinct eyebrows and a smooth skinned face with a shade of tan most white skinned men would envy. I do find him attractive but I was not attracted to him. However, he sent out this lovely vibe that compliments mine. So much ease and both prioritizing sense of humor without any negativities and games, it was so refreshing to suddenly get to feel bromance between two gay men.

Normally, whenever I get this close to another guy, I would start having those urges to want to get on with him or ask him on a date. Sunshine was different. It’s not because I do not like him but I just feel so clean with him and the time spent with Sunshine was just so honest. As we traded stories, I learnt that we have so much in common. How both of us had spent six years in a foreign country to have come back to Myanmar and the way we look at life, we also share this mutual respect for each other. The serious side of Sunshine made me feel comfortable and made me wanna be honest with him.

I also found myself more secure than ever. I was on top of my game and I was not really looking for sex, love or any other relationship more than a friend. I was not even worried where things were going between us and I was not even expecting anything at all.

I really do not know how to say it and you could say I’m lost for words but being around Sunshine on this very evening made me realize there ARE gay men like him around and that I still have hopes of finding a click with these guys. I also found out how much of a true friend material Sunshine is and how I’ve stopped thinking too much to let a gay guy into my life.

Sunshine is definitely a friend I would like to have for a long time and as much as I hate to admit this to boost Amore’s ego, she sure does attract good people! Bless her for that!

Listening to : Lostprophets – Bring’em down

Ball : Scratched

Once upon a time, there lived a boy in a big city “Nognay”. The city sleeps early and the residents rarely wander the streets, except for some areas like “Nwotanihc”. Anyways, back to the story. The city somehow has its magic touch in the alleys and corners, where you least expect. The magic today comes in form of a ball at a very important house of a King, who comes from a country known as “Ylati”.

This was the ball everyone has been waiting for since the last ball has been nothing but success. As the boy enters the castle where the big event lies, he was greeted by his old friends, some high ranked dukes and their duchesses, annoying pixies, dames and also faces he has never seen before.

The boy promised himself that he would not indulge on the Royal juice, which the King served in gold goblets and he stuck onto his words. As the prince wandered around in the ballroom where most participants of the events were moving uncontrollably to the music played by the crowd jester on his DJ set, he noticed this gorgeous spunk he used to have a huge crush on.

Since the boy was not really into playing games and since he’s had enough of the spunk, the boy just gave a sigh as he politely greeted the spunk. After a few quick courtesy bows and a small dance together with the spunk, the boy chose to dance with the other crowd.

As the night turned into an early dawn and as the crowd got more influenced by the Royal Juice in their goblets, the boy somehow found himself face to face with spunk again. This time, the spunk said “I am so stoned”, to which the boy replied “Oh ok” with confusion. Then, as the spunk rushed off to perform his famous ‘rabbit dance’ in the opposite direction, the boy shrugged and continued dancing with his friends.

Accidentally, as the boy was dancing, he turned towards the direction where the spunk was dancing and witnessed something that totally made the boy feel a bit uneasy and awkward deep inside. As the spunk swayed side to side in his awkward rabbit dance, he did something which the boy felt completely disgusted by. Despite the distance between them, the boy felt totally compelled to be around the spunk after that certain moment happened.

Yep, this is where the fairy tale ends and in case you are wondering what the spunk did, he scratched his balls in public. I might sound shallow but any guy who scratched their balls in public is a huge turn off. I do have my limits somehow I guess. C’est la vie!

Listening to : Daughtry – Outta my head

All’s ‘hair’ in love and war

When I was a kid, I had wavy hair. In fact, I still do but because I keep cutting it whenever it gets long, my hair has managed to look straight when short. Call it instinct but I have always been very conscious with my hair. I get really sensitive when my hair goes boring. I would be the first in line to try anything out. I’ve straightened my hair before and dyed them a lot of colors before as well. The point I’m trying to get at here is how hair plays the most important part of a human being. This does not really mean I do not like bald men but that’s another story.

So, during lunchtime, I bumped into MrPresenter once again but this time he was lunching with his colleagues, a pack of chicks and a gay make up artist. I had to look twice at MrPresenter since he did not really look like the guy I knew he was. Not only that, he looked too bland.

Ok, I’m not a shallow person and if I were to get to know MrPresenter a bit more despite the way he looked today, maybe if he was a nice person, I would’ve still given him a high rating. However, his hair was a bit messed. It had product on it and it was made up. It was not messy in a ‘Lindsay Lohan on cocaine’ way but it just looked erected in a wrong way. I kinda kept staring at his masterpiece of a hair, which looked more like an inverted cone and his round face could make a perfect scoop of almond flavored ice cream.

Judging him this far by his hair made me realize that he does not really have a ‘good’ face. He has this face that could be accompanied by a good hair style to look A plus. Just as I was finding him too normal by the way his hair looked, he just had to dig his hole deeper by opening his mouth. He started talking to his girl colleague and he did not say anything bad but his tone right there reminded me of a drag queen smoking cigarette in her make up room at a show interval. A bit bitchy and a tad loud, MrPresenter screams not only gay, but almighty camp.

Since this whole behavior of his cherry topped my lack of appreciation for him on a shallow level, I started to doubt that I was attracted to him. I felt like this huge boner of a dude that his somehow shriveled back to its less-than-normal stage (like how a genital looks after you’re worn out from running a 30 k marathon) after his girlfriend stripped off to expose a hairy armpit.

It amazes me to a different level how a haircut is one of the most important thing on a person and how one simple look that does not click with your taste buds could accumulate. It also makes me wonder if I would’ve noticed his campness and his loudness if only his hair had looked better? Things that make you go hmmm I guess.

Listening to : Timomatic – Set it off

Weird applicant

Would you hate me or even believe me if I told you that one of the main things I do at work is moderate Facebook pages? Yep, as an IT manager and being a newb at work, I find myself doing that most of my time. The company I work for has a lot of Facebook pages and it’s one of those companies that does a lot of media stuff. TV channels, cable TV, radio stations, you name it, we got it!!!

Not long ago, I uploaded some vacancy announcement on one of those pages and a girl messaged saying she was looking for a job in our company. Excited to give her an opportunity, I asked my colleague, Swag, anyway she could get involved. As an HR manager, he asked me to tell her to message her.

Before I go on, I think it’s best to know how Swag and I actually knew each other way before this work. We were from the same school but the only difference is how he was still in his short shorts trying to run after kids his age while I was trying to find a chick to dance with at a prom. So, Swag and I? Old school mates but just really different grades.

Swag’s email address has his full name on it and the girl finally emailed him. When I asked the girl to hand in a CV to Swag’s email address, she answered “CV? I’m not really sure how I could send it via online”. I cringed. What? CV? Online? Honey, go to Microsoft Word and type up a CV. Swag later mentioned to her that it was actually a resume. Ah well, fair enough. I guess I did not really know what a CV was before, but I did know what a resume was.

Her next email was when she asked Swag if he went to Diplomatic School. Swag actually noticed that this girl was from the same school as us but she was a grade younger than him. So, the email asked if Swag was the Swag from the school we went to, to which he answered ‘yes’.

Then, the emails started getting weirder. She mentioned she would now have to think of whether she wants to work in the same company with Swag. Ok…. My reaction, then, was ‘WTF!’

Would you refuse to work for your dream job after you find out that the HR manager is actually a school mate, and seriously he’s not even your friend, nor your enemy. Would you still let go of that opportunity? I really don’t get what she was up to. Swag is actually a really nice guy and judging from her emails, she does not really know him well. Maybe she just knows his name.

Does she like him? Is she being really stupid by thinking he would be a smart ass at work just because he’s in the same school as her?

I have to admit I have never ever, in my life, seen such a weird ass applicant in my life before. As Swag and I stared at her emails, the only thing that was going into my head was how I wished a weirdo like that would not end up being my workmate. Harsh I know but seriously, this kid is so weird in so many levels.

Listening to : Haley Reinhart – Free

Special relationships

Our mind is so tricky. Sometimes, we come up with rules on what our minds feed on and what our minds like and sometimes, just when you think you have understood what your mind likes, something happens to make you wanna go back to square one again.

PoodlePartner and I hit the new pizzeria in town, which was a small shop in Pearl Condo. I have to admit I was not really in the mood to go inside since it was too small but I did want to find out how good or bad the pizza is as well. So yeah, a pizza date? I guess it was.

I have been hanging out with PoodlePartner for a lot of times now and every time I do, I ended up enjoying it. I always love talking to him and I feel like I could say a lot of things I wouldn’t to any other gay man. I feel like he’s a great friend but at the same time, I also feel like I ended up flirting a bit as well.

Theoretically, I think our case is a bit of “I’m not that into you” but I could see PoodlePartner and I being an almost perfect match. We bounce off on a lot of things and I could easily tell, with great confidence, that he would agree to go steady if I had asked him. However, I had been stopping myself. I do not know why or how my mind wants things to be but I always end up finding myself stopping at a certain point.

Do I actually like the attention he gave and am I using him to feed off the craving to get attention? Well, I wouldn’t actually look at it that way either. I mean, I do like him giving me attention but it’s not like he worships me and both of us seem to have that certain comfortable wavelength between us.

I can’t really tell what’s there between me and PoodlePartner. I know something is there but I am so sure that it’s not a steady relationship, nor a friend. I just feel so comfortable with him but at the same time, I do not really want him. And at the same time, I do see myself with him if I were to act on it. But, I can’t be too sure if I would last long with him.

Not to spoil the night with my thoughts, I did what I do best. I just went with the flow. I seriously have no clue what is there between us. Maybe I’m too picky? Maybe I’m afraid that I would end up having to say “Sorry, I’m not really that much into you” after giving him hope?

Despite everything, the pizza was good and the hangout was tops.

Listening to : The Knux – 1974 (featuring Natalia Kills)

Match “not” made

The big applause today goes to Mung!!!! I’ve blogged before about how I hate to be match made. There was a time my friend tried to play a wingman (more like wingwoman) with a guy who I could’ve been interested if she had not played the whole “Hey let’s match make these two friends of mine cos they’re both gay” game. Then, one of my other friends tried to give me the address of a hair salon which I should go to.. JUST BECAUSE the Chinese hair dresser there has got a huge bicep and screams gay.

Honestly, I do appreciate it but the fact that I know that everything was fixed kinda put the whole situation to a whole new perspective where I do not really enjoy being the centre of attention for a cupid game. So, yep, I never got to like that guy I was wing-manned for and I never went to that hair salon.

Mung has given me a fifteen minutes workout which made one of his friends lose 60 lbs in four months. Interested, we were revising the routine step by step and Mung accidentally slipped “I think he’s gay” to which I just scoffed a bit.

Have you ever been in a conversation where you were told something to which you chuckled to and changed topic but then later, you realized that it’s something important and you kinda hit the rewind button to continue that topic again? That’s exactly what happened after Mung mentioned “I think he’s gay”.

Subconsciously, while I was talking about something else, I asked “So this friend of yours, is he hot?” Mung went all quiet and he said ‘well.. umm… I think so… ‘ and he mumbled a bit and I chucked a ‘huh?’. To this, he just quickly said ‘Nothing nothing….’. Then, he skipped subject and talked about something else.

I got it right away. He wanted me to see this guy and he wanted me to get to know this guy but knowing how much I hate to be match made, he stopped himself from talking about this guy like it was someone I was meant to meet in a few days time. I thanked him and I think he understood that I found out that he was trying to match make us. Nonetheless, I appreciated his subtlety and I thought it was hilarious and really cute at the same time how he made such an effort to cover up the whole “Hey, my friend’s gay. He’s cute” topic.

For a funny reason, I did not feel like I was played on this time. I’m sure one day Mung will surprise me with an introduction to this gay friend of his but it was pretty awesome how we both stopped talking about him.

Gotta love friends like Mung. Two thumbs up, bro~!

Listening to : Chris Brown – Strip

Work introduction

It’s not really that obvious to me how I’m fortunate to be working where I am. To me, it’s an awesome thing since I’ve always wanted to work for a media-related company. However, I never knew that would be something others would be thinking as well. I don’t mean to underestimate my country but I would have never thought that most of my colleagues from UN or other NGO’s would be surprised in a happy way when I tell them I’m working for a local TV station.

It was one of my friends’ third wedding and I never knew they had their first and second. It was a house party full of people from the humanitarian and development work field and as predicted, I could hear them talking about almost every headlines from CNN or BBC and the ever-none-growing-old-topic on how Myanmar is developing.

Since I’ve been outta the scene for a while, it was surprising for most of the people in that party to see that I was in town or still exist. It was awesome to see them again but after a while, I got a bit tired with how most of them asked the same thing. I swear to God that I am NOT exaggerating but they kept asking two same things. “Where have you been?” and “Where do you work?”

The whole evening I was wishing I was this toy on battery that would repeat “Being a hermit” and “Local TV station” on prompted by those questions. Somehow, it felt awesome that a lot of people find it quite interesting when I talk about my work but it was also a shame on how I do not really know what to say, given it’s only been one month and a few days since I started working here.

So, yeah despite my confusion about this new job with the whole insecurity, I feel safe with my boyband and also I feel somewhat fortunate that I’m working for a job most people kinda envy and think is awesome.

Listening to : The Beastie Boys – Make some noise